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Health and Fitness: Wednesday Night Recap

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2013 by full1mpact

Wednesday night was a very special night for F-1 in the sense that we had two extraordinary guest speakers talking about fitness, health, and what lies in-between.  We started out discussing three major factors in men’s health and men’s awareness of certain health needs.  Examples being cholesterol, heart health, and testosterone health and from there we landed one bombshell of a delivery from two very incredible people.

We talked about how there can be a direct link between low testosterone level and depression in men.  How, in recent studies, men have been supplemented with testosterone rather than anti-depressants and had great results.  Rather than the multiple side-effects that anti-depressants can cause, some of which making the conditions of depression even worse.

According to the Mayo Clinic, testosterone health promotes protein synthesis, bone density, sexual appetite, fat distribution, and healthy sleep cycles.  Who wouldn’t want more of that? We also talked about ways to naturally boost your body’s own ability to produce testosterone.  Supplements like tribulus, horny goat weed, and L-Arginine are important in the production of natural testosterone and healthy sexual appetite.

All very important information and I encourage you to do some homework in that area of your own personal health.  In our attraction series we mentioned how women will look at how a man takes care of himself and if she sees that he isn’t, will often ask herself, “If he doesn’t care to maintenance himself, how much less will he care about anyone else?”  With that said, I want to introduce you to two awesome people that spoke Wed evening!

Meet professional training, mad scientist and natural body building competitor, Jared Holt and his partner, who is also a natural body building competitor in the NPC, a rep for Nutrishop Pasadena, supplement guru,(Ask her anything on supplements I dare you!)  fangirl, (Way into Wonder Woman.) and all around kickass woman, Sara Ghalayini.  Both are supporters of the growing F-1 army, and good friends.  They understand why commitment and consistency are vital, not only in the health and body building field, but in life as well.

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Talking with the dynamic duo, Jared confessed that growing up he, “was not exposed to the body building world.  Being raised in Buffalo, Missouri there were not a lot of body building gyms around at that time.”  Growing up and being called a bean pole, he stuck to a few sports he knew and was offered.  However, he leaned towards the comic-book genre and loved the muscular physique of many of his heroes.

After some time he was exposed to Pro-Wrestling, and then later a muscle magazine that shown that people with super hero physiques was a possibility.  This dream of becoming a body builder he kept to himself until he moved to So-Cal and began the process of reinvention.  However, despite his comic book heroes and body building gods, he made a decision to be as natural as possible so that he could be as healthy as possible.

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Growing up with this dream and very little outer support, he had to make a choice to filter through what does and does not work.  This is why F-1 refers to him as our Mad Scientist Trainer, because he has studied and ultra-studied, nearly every technique, diet, and workout regime in the book.  His arsenal is so vast that form fitting a feasible workout plan for a client is easy.  “I try and see what works first, so they don’t have to.  I tell them, ‘let me fail first so I can better suite you.’”

Wed night he and Sara both gave some awesome quick tips to help people get started realistically.

  1.  Don’t buy into all hype, diets, media, etc.  Give yourself a realistic conversation of what you want.
  2. Consistency over perfection.  Everyone wants perfection, but few stick with consistency which in the long run makes the largest impact.
  3. There are no miracle pills, supplements, etc.  Supplements only help to whatever level you’re working out with.  They’re there to help, not do the work.
  4. If you CAN get a trainer, do it.  Do some homework; find one that works for you that pays attention to your personal goals and needs.  All pro’s have coaches and trainers.  They know the importance of it.  All jobs have trainers.  This is no different.
  5. You can start small by using your GPS to mark out a mile and use that to walk, run, jog, sprint, or skip through.
  6. Get out of the house.  Too many distractions there.

And we can’t go any further without giving you a woman’s perspective in the field of health and body building.  Meet Sara, who, not only have I worked with, but I have watched meet personal goal, after personal goal.  She is a lion when it comes to what she wants and doesn’t cut corners getting it.  I worked with her in another nutrition center and she not only was well educated in supplements, but an expert.  Not only in what each product does, but when to use such products as well.  And not only on a general level, but how each gender has different supplemental needs.

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Sara at the Nutrishop

We asked her how she got started and here is what she had to say!  “I saw a women’s magazine and this lady just had a really muscular fit body and I thought that was just beautiful.  Growing up Wonder Woman has been a hero of mine but seeing that lady on the magazine I realized women can work just as hard, if not harder than men.  I struggled with confidence and weight growing up and I used fitness to gain confidence and feel good and sexy about myself.  Which is most important.  It’s not that I’m ‘strong for a girl,’ I’m just strong….period.”

In advice to the guys, “You have to be almost stronger mentally than physically to compete.  Because it literally becomes a religious routine and repetition.  But like Jared said, it is about consistency.”  Sara is now a rep for Nutrishop and sets up meal plans for beginners on a regular basis.  “It’s as simple as just taking the first step.”  She would also suggest starting with a simple supplement plan of protein, BCAA’s, and a multi-vitamin.  All three help in recovery and are essential for goals.

Both of them were able to demonstrate their wealth of knowledge to us and had samples on hand to taste the product so to speak.  At the end they gave some last bits of information before everyone there received a free shirt, samples, and were able to personally ask them health related questions.

  1.  Create your own story.  Be an inspiration to others with your story and your health journey.
  2. Get healthy for you, not for the girls.  In the end, you are the one that pays for it and works for it.
  3. Know that getting healthy also helps in the bedroom.  In every way.  (Some serious incentive there.)
  4. Get on a simple program and stick to it.  No one sees massive results right away, and the products claiming that often just want your money.
  5. Consistency, consistency, consistency.
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Sara-G, Adam from S.I.U. and Pam from S.I.U.

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F-1 Army

F-1 Army

F-1 is honored to have had them for guests.  If you are in the Pasadena, or L.A. area, head down to the Nutrishop and ask for Sara G, she’ll help you set yourself up.  Tell her F-1 sent you.  If you’re looking for a trainer, Mad Scientist Jared will be more than happy to put you to work.  In the mean-time, stay healthy friends.

M. Larsen

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Update: Comic Con and Next Week’s Seminar!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2013 by full1mpact

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Hello, this is just a quick update about what is going on with Full 1mpact right now.  It is currently the season for Comic Con.  And we’ll be covering what we can for the short two days we’ll be there.  Usually we’re there for the full event but we have a lot to prepare for next week.

Just to fill you in, we’ve covered Comic Con before and given advice on everything from convention etiquette to enjoying your inner geek.  Which is what Comic Con is all about; enjoying that inner fun that you remember enjoying when you were a kid.  Embracing your inner hero, and riding off into the sunset when it is all said and done.  We hope to give you a good amount of pictures for those of you who couldn’t attend this year.

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So what is it we’re preparing for that is next week?  Kill the Boy II Series.  This series dives deep into the psyche and habits of both men and boys.  How boy-man/punk habits can be destructive and are the dividing line between boy behavior and true, mature,  masculinity.  This is what started Full 1mpact to begin with.  This is the meat and potatoes of who we are and what we are about.

If you missed Part I, we will catch you up in the beginning, but we still urge you to come nonetheless.  No matter what gender because what we are discussing is genuinely informative.  I often hear the objections from other males about going to a “men’s group,” and comments like, “Well I’m pretty good, I have my life well figured out,” or “Why do I need another man telling me how to live.”  Let’s be honest, quite often those are defensive objections to the stereotype idea that real men don’t need advice, direction, or coaching.

Everyone on staff here at Full 1mpact knows we will never know all there is to being the best we can be.  The great Sam Keen, even wrote in his book, “Fire in the Belly,”; “Any definition of who we are is too limiting.  I should approach myself like a country that will always contain unexplored wilderness and unfathomable seas.  Who am I?  More than I can ever know.”

Growing up I wish I had someone who could have properly showed me the ropes.  Later on when I began to open myself to the vast study of masculinity I began to see I bought a lot of lies.  And maybe still am.  But what if I could create an organization that is about unveiling the truth, no matter how scary or threatening it may seem.  Or no matter how much against the taught norms it may be.  A question I often teach others to ask themselves is this, “What if I believe a lie, about being a man, that is preventing me from a truer sense of self and lifestyle?  And would I want to know what it is if it were true?”  Many guys believe they can find it on their own by just going through life on autopilot.  I know I thought that.  And maybe a few can.  But I admit, I am always willing to know and learn more and willing to teach it to those hungry to be the best they can be at who they are.

The professional athletes have always known a secret that the average world cannot see the need for in everyday life.  We subconsciously separate the playing field believing that it does not apply to the arena or working life we are in.  But it is a lie.  And that secret is the knowledge you can use a mentor or coach.  A common saying we have in Full 1mpact, “Men embrace change and instruction, boys detest it.”  (Which seems to run true so far.)  But more on the mentorship aspect, from the words of Steve Siebold, who is one of the most successful business and professional coaches in the world.

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The World Class is Coachable

Corporate America and entrepreneurs are starting to catch onto something athletes have always known:  if you want to maximize your potential in anything, hire a coach.  Coaching is to performance what leadership is to an organization.  Since human beings are primarily emotional creatures, competent coaches are experts at stoking the fires that burn within – assuming there is already (at least) a small flame.  Coaches can’t create the flame, but the good ones can turn a small flame into a blow torch.  World-class coaches won’t even accept a client if they fail to find a flame inside.  They know the flame is the prerequisite for greatness.  Average people will only accept the amount of coaching their egos will allow. Champions are well known for being the most open to the world-class coaching.  The bigger the champion, the more open-minded they are.  They great ones couldn’t care less about ego satisfaction when it comes to improving their results –all they’re looking for is an edge, no matter how slight.  Their logic behind this is simple:  when two champions go head to head, many times the only thing that favors the winner is a slight edge in thinking, strategy and technique.  All champions look for that one little advantage that great coaching can provide.  –177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class

And with that note!  I will see you next week as we explore the adventure of learning more about true masculinity.

Micah W. Larsen

5 Easy Ways to Change The World Around You In A Positive Way

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 11, 2013 by full1mpact

Full 1mpact, being advocates of change, have always encouraged finding new ways of changing the world around us in a positive way.  Some embrace change, others detest and fear it, and many sit on the sidelines and merely complain about it.  But I believe that many would like to impact others in a positive and cause positive change, but don’t know how or where to start.

What if you could do one thing a day, every day, for the rest of your life to cause positive change in the world closest to you?  What would that life look like?  And what if that habit caught on to others?  Sometimes we buy the idea that being a voice, or a champion, is this large and grandioso event when really it is being faithful to the smaller things.  And when you put those smaller things together they make a much larger picture that impacts the worlds around you.  What if you could change your world?  What would it look like?  And where would you start?

Well, perhaps you could start here first.

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1.        Light Up One Person’s Day, Every Day:

A while back I had posted a question, asking, “If you could light up one person’s day, every day; a different person a day, what kind of life would that be like?”  Those were my exact words.  I was asking myself as much as everyone else.  I wanted to see for myself.  And guess what, it’s easier than you might think.

Many will make excuses as to why they can’t or how difficult it might be without thinking out of the box just for a moment long enough to see that it isn’t that hard.  Let me show you just how easy it can be.  On my Facebook account I have over 400 friends.  More friends than there are days of the year.  The majority, if not all of them, I know and more than an acquaintance basis.  How hard would it be to write a kind, thoughtful, note to a different person a day?  Or say you don’t have that many friends, write to one or more of them several times a year perhaps.  Or write a handwritten note of appreciation to a co-worker.  From that area of thought, what about sending a card to someone randomly just to say you had them in mind.  Birthday cards are loved by all, btw.  For guys this isn’t always popular, but it is well received.  Keep that in mind.

Before an excuse makes its way through, I want to add that it takes less than five minutes.  I know because I’ve been doing this for a year now.  One person a day, every day.   That note can make a huge difference in the outcome of someone’s day.  Even if it isn’t epic, it’s still thoughtful and appreciated.  Steve Siebold, in his 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class book writes about how champions understand the power of praise and use it lavishly.  Not over the top, not in a way that is supposed to flatter, but fairly and with heart.

You may be the one person that reaches out to someone who didn’t even know they needed it.  You’re not doing this for praise; you’re doing this because you can.  Because you have the power to change someone’s day.  Use it lavishly.

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2.       Give:

Give money, time, baked goods, groceries, piano lessons, whatever you want, to someone in need.  And give selflessly with no need of a “thank you.”  Donate to a charity you believe in.  But donate effectively.  Donate in way that changes lives.  Example; There are several walks or short marathons that help needy people.

If you go on a cancer walk, you get to see survivors and hear stories of people you could possibly help.  If you go to a Make a Wish event you get to meet kids who, in many cases, have a better grip on their own mortality than most adults.  You get to meet them, and by simply giving a small amount of your time walking you are changing a life.

Donate blood to blood bank and save a life.  Doesn’t take much time and someone may need it later.  Or how about donating groceries to a local food bank or needy family you know.  Many of you reading this attend a church, synagogue, or temple, and I have yet to walk into any of those who don’t have a family who attends that could use groceries.

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3.       Random Acts of Kindness:

This concept can sometimes come across very vague.  But there are a lot of ways to accomplish the random acts of kindness.  I know many people who have elderly neighbors who need yard work done, so they go over and mow their lawn or trim their bushes for free.  For those who live in hard winter states you can scoop their walkways.

Sure it may take a bit of time, but the gratitude they will have is immeasurable.   But there are other ways too.  Helping a neighbor move even if they didn’t ask.  Volunteering yourself for something without being asked to do it.  If you see someone’s car out of commission you can stop and see if there is a way you can help.

One of the ways I enact this is easy and sort of leads into number four on this list.  I often go to restaurants where the server is extraordinarily good.  They don’t have to be superhuman good; they just have to be pretty good.  And on the receipt where I have to sign and give a tip; I will often write a quick note about how well they did.  (And tip a bit more than the average person because I understand that working in a serving environment is not easy.)  For those of you who serve, or have served in the past, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Little notes, offering to help, randomly taking a friend out to eat, giving your time to someone in need; are all examples of ways you can show kindness.  You may not always get thanked, but that is okay.  That’s not why you’re doing it.  You’re doing it to change the world nearest to you.

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4.       Praise the Help:

In number three I mentioned how I’d write a note on a server’s receipt with praise about their work.  That’s just one example.  At a local theme park I often strike a quick conversation with the workers and tell them how grateful I am that they work there, because without them the park couldn’t run.  They don’t hear that enough.  I guarantee you.  Tell them how polite they are, or how they’re one of the most cheerful of the help.  Whatever the case may be, simply tell them with a smile.  You will make their day.

Taking this a step further, tell their boss.  One habit I really enjoy is finding a really good worker and asking for their immediate manager.  They always look concerned.  (19 out of 20 times they are getting a complaint.)  I’ll point out the worker and say, “That person over there, I have a report on them…” or something to that extent.  Now the manager really looks concerned.  And I’ll remain very serious, but genuine, and say, “They are probably one of the best workers you have.  You’d be a fool to let them go.”  Then watch as their demeanor changes.  Watch as they smile and go to the worker to praise them as well.  Sometimes in front of the other staff.

Most of the time in the corporate setting the majority of feedback a worker gets is criticism with tiny, tiny, tiny tidbits of praise.  So miniscule that the criticism is where the focus is.  Your public recognition of their hard work will make a difference.  All too often we simply want our food and only pay attention if the service is bad.  Try paying attention to when the service is good and see what results you get!

On two occasions, that I’m aware of, at a local restaurant I enjoy frequenting, I’ve seen staff that was really good at what they did promoted shortly after the public praise.  Was I a direct result of that?  I don’t know, but whatever the case, it probably helped.

Harry Gordon Selfridge, who started the Selfridge’s department stores in England, thought it was so important to lead staff rather than boss staff even wrote about it in his book, “The Romance of Commerce.”  This was written in 1918, when employment laws were much worse than they are today.  Few felt the need to praise the help, especially employers.  Why would they?  They were employees, why would they need any recognition for just doing their job?  Mr.  Selfridge thought differently and was known for publicly and loudly praising staff on a job well done.  He wrote in his book, “A boss drives his men, a leader coaches them; a boss depends on authority, a leader on goodwill; a boss knows how it is done, a leader shows how.”  He goes on to show the difference and the importance of recognition.   It’s easy.

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5.       Be Present and Listen:

Sometimes the only thing a friend needs is your presence.  Words will matter little, and advice will matter even less.  I cannot tell level of gratitude I had when life had kicked me to the curb and a friend made it known that they were there for me.  They didn’t give advice, they didn’t try to steer or control the situation, and they just listened.  Because really that is all I needed.

On the other side, I have had times where I just needed the presence of a friend, but instead got a lecture.  Often the lecturer knew as little about the topic, trouble, or situation, as I did.  But were eager to give ill-informed advice nonetheless.  To be on the receiving end isn’t fun, but because you’re friends you also do not want to burst their often self-righteous bubble.  Their intention is good, but the delivery is something to be desired.

Being present is a bit of an art form.  To be present is to allow your spirit to connect to theirs by empathizing to the nature of the drama, so to speak.  Empathizing to their spirit, their pain or wound, and not offering advice.  Simply listening, allowing yourself to walk through the course, concerned, but strong because you are there.  By exploring this walk you learn as much about your spirit as you do theirs, often.

There have been a number of times, eager to give advice; I know I had overstepped my bounds by trying to be a mouthpiece, rather than just being present.  However, the times I’ve stopped, listened, learned, and reached out, I learned as much about myself as I did them.  I prevented myself from judging and simply allowed myself to learn.  To seek the words I was hearing and pull them deep.  Perhaps see if I too had a similar wound.  And if not, to try and allow myself to feel what it must be like.

When I was much younger and went camping with my grandparents, I would often sit in the campgrounds with my grandfather on lawn chairs, watching nature.  Not a word would be spoken, but the presence of one another was enough to be meaningful beyond normal understanding.  It was as though watching the trees, birds, and river flow, allowed us to grow spiritually like nature itself.  Those moments, watching the Sun dive beneath the evergreens in the mountains and hearing the river murmur to the trees, are like gold.  In recent years I try hard to be that presence to friends who need it or family who needs it.

All of these examples are just simple ways of changing the world near you.  I’m sure many of you could find hundreds of other examples, these are just my favorite.  There are numerous ways to change the world to a more positive way, but you have to start somewhere.  Rather than expressing an armchair opinion on an over-opinionated forum, stand up and begin doing something about it.  One day, you’ll look back and be grateful you did.  And those nearest to you will be richer for it.

–William M Jeffries

Violence is Madness, So is Silence

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 1, 2013 by full1mpact

When I first started this article I wasn’t sure where to even begin. Not that there isn’t enough material on the subject of men and violence, but that there is so much that everything sort of crosses over. Full 1mpact© has long been advocates of Amnesty International and strongly opposed against, not only violence against women, but violence towards children as well. We despise bullying and anything that exploits people and preys upon the common person.amnesty_logo

So where to begin? I suppose by just jumping in the pool with the attempt of being heard. As a man against violence towards women and children, and other people. When speaking with another friend of mine about this article and some hang-ups I’d been having he asked if I thought there was ever a time violence was appropriate. I said, flatly, “never.” He then raised his eyebrows and said, “Really? Then why were you a boxer and still enjoy combat sports.” That’s the truth. I love combat sports. I always have. The drama, the victory, the hard work, all of it is exciting to me.

So lets be clear, the violence I am NOT talking about is boxing, MMA, or other combat sports where two trained athletes or fighters are entering an arena knowing full well what they are about to get into. Some people hate even that level of violence. I do not hate it, I very much enjoy it. But that isn’t what I’m writing about here.

The violence I am so adamantly against is one person abusing another person. Abusing by either bullying, sexually abusing someone, verbally, or physically in some way. Part of my frustration is this common belief in victim shaming. The common idea is that the victim must have done something to provoke that behavior. I remember experiencing this first had in Kindergarten.  Without going into heavy detail about my home situation with a step-parent, I went to my teacher. I was five years old. I told her I had been struck, several times. Her response was, “Well, what did you do so that happened?” I’ll never forget the sense of solitude I would carry from that day forward. I would later go on to tell two others who could have done something but did nothing, or had similar responses.

What could a child, of 5 yrs, do to provoke being slammed into a wall or stricken by an adult? The answer is nothing. It is a five year old child. What about women? The answer remains the same. I even had a gentleman once ask me, “What if she a hostile woman and is physically abusive herself?” I answered with, “Why would you stay in any relationship with physical violence? Or any violence for that matter?”

Violence is a choice, ladies and gentlemen. You can act on it, or you can control it. Or you can speak up and get help. Two things work against a lot of victims. One is victim shaming, where somehow the victim is part of this dance. The other is the silence of others who know about it. Either willingly in denial or using the scapegoat of, “It’s none of my business.”  If it is public, it is your business. If you can hear it through your living room walls it is your business. Hearing it is witnessing it. Stand up because you might end up being someone’s guardian angel when they need it the most. I cannot tell you the number of times I wished someone would have stepped in for me.

I also challenge you to support a local charity or a group, like Amnesty International. Which brings me to the next part of this story; As I was clearing my thoughts and going through what material to use I came across an article about a strong girl named Heather and a gentleman, Sir Patrick Stewart. In this clip he is at a fan convention and asked a question aside from his acting, aside from his known role as Captain Pickard. His reaction is that of a true man. One who has not only experienced the trauma in his own way, but is making a stand. And the girl, a lucky Heather Skye; who asked the question and received love, comfort, and reassurance from one human, to another.patrick1patrick2patrick3

Heather, there are those who are championing the cause, as we all know you are. Lead on and never stop. Men, you must also lead by example to your fellow man. Stick up for those who cannot stick up for themselves. Step in, speak up, speak out, and cover those who cannot cover themselves. It is a thankless job at times, you will be challenged, but you will never regret standing in the gap for those who cannot stand for themselves.

Heather’s own words from her blog.

With that said, please enjoy the media and live strong.

M. W. Larsen

Five Meals Every Man Should Know How To Prepare

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2013 by full1mpact

I come from a strange school of thought that not only should everyone know how to cook, but that cooking is a sign of independence.  Think about it for a moment.  This is a sign you don’t rely on mom or dad to prepare meals for you.  This is also one of the first signs of moving into adulthood in my opinion.  It is also cost effective if you do it right, and can be impressive to others.

I have often ran into the sexist theme of women should be the one who cooks, etc., played out over and over again.  And I have had clients in the past that never learned how to even boil water.  They’ve relied on their parent, (namely their mother.)  To cook for them and when they’ve landed a girlfriend they either ate out all the time or they relied on her to do the cooking.  I’ve said it before; women do not like being turned into your mom.

With that being said, I believe most guys should have five staple meals they know how to prepare well.  Not a huge number.  And think about what I said before, about this being a sign of independence and maturity.  Independence is a good thing, and cooking is sexy, if done right, for anyone man or woman.  The great thing about cooking is that it reaches all genders, all cultures, and can communicate a lot about you without saying a word.

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1.  Chili:  Learn how to make a good chili.  Google good chili recipes and find one that works for you.  It’s easy to prepare and you usually set to simmer for only a few hours.  What’s so awesome about chili?  It’s perfect for those cloudy, rainy days or those snowy wintery days.  Add either a cinnamon roll or butter rolls into the mix and you have yourself a date night with cold weather, chili and a movie.  Plus, if you’re vegan or she is, just take out the meat and add another ingredient and it will still work!

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2.  Eggs:  Scrambled, sunny-side-up, poached, whatever your desire is, eggs are easy and cheese to make and take little time or effort to throw together.  If you are worried about cholesterol, like me, then just use egg whites with some five grain toast and you have yourself a great breakfast or evening breakfast at your fingertips.

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3.  Spaghetti or Pasta:  Spaghetti is easy to make.  Boil water.  Put in the pasta; let it sit in boiling water for appropriate time according to the type of pasta, while stirring occasionally.  Simmer the sauce, adding a few spices or variants if necessary.  Put those two together and bam!  Pasta.  Spaghetti.  Whatever.  It’s easy.  The great thing about pasta is that it is a sexy meal.  Easy to prepare and super sexy.  Serve with wine or Champaign and you have a great date, without spending two hundred presidents and it can take very little time.

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4.  French toast:  French toast is a great breakfast/dessert type of meal that is great with a partner, or even alone.  Easy to make and very, very tasty.  The variant could be pancakes, because most people love a good pancake or waffle.  I prefer French toast.  Easy to make and the better you get at it, the more variety of ways you can serve it.  Use Texas style toast for bread, sour dough bread, or even add cinnamon to the batter before putting it on the skillet.  My grandfather liked adding beer to the batter and it tasted amazing!

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5.  Grilled or Seared Chicken Breast:  This one can be made on any grill or stove top.  Either use and actual grill or a frying pan.  Buy boneless, skinless, chicken breast and cut up into bite sized bits or leave as a whole breast.  I’d suggest finding a few easy recipes on Google and following them to a tee.  Usually it isn’t very time consuming but if you put a lot of care into this one, you can make a simple meal look very sexy and extravagant.  I prefer marinating the chicken and using organic olive oil.  Serve with rice or Italian salad and you have a perfect date night.  Again, without spending two hundy to a restaurant.  Imagine being able to say, humbly, yes I prepared this meal.

These are just my choices because they’re very easy to prepare, and universal.  And honestly the first five meals I knew how to make in this lifetime.  I still enjoy serving each of them, but now I try to add things to make them more interesting or tastier!  I believe as a guy, having five staple meals is a great start.  You don’t necessarily have to use my five, but like I said, they’re simple, they work, and easy to prepare.

If you have any other suggested meals, post them below, I’m sure you’ll help other guys find their niche staple meals!  But this is a great start to finding more things to cook in the future.

William M. Jeffries

Interview With Dr. Timaree

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 3, 2013 by full1mpact

Full 1mpact recently had the chance to interview Dr. Timaree. We believe of all of the times we want people to pay attention, this is one of them! So pay attention, this interview has a lot of great information in it especially since this answers a lot of questions many guys have as we’re delving into the Attraction Series. –William M. Jeffries

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Interview withTimaree:
Full 1mpact: We first want to acknowledge and thank you, Dr. Timaree for taking time out of your busy schedule for us. Your work and knowledge of both sexuality and overall human rights are pretty spectacular. If someone wanted more information about you and your work, where could they go and what could they expect to see?

Dr. Timaree: Awww, shucks. Thanks to you too, for your work! My work is spread out all over the interwebs Sex with http://sexwithtimaree.com/, the podcast on iTunes http://tinyurl.com/swtpod, the Facebook community http://www.facebook.com/sexwithtimaree , and syndicated on a few websites run by other folks. Someone who checks these out will hopefully find a passion for sex positivity, social justice, rational discourse about sensitive topics and a penchant for appropriately timed F bombs.

Full 1mpact: What are some projects you are currently working on or which cause you are diving into at the moment?

Dr. Timaree: My podcast and website and facebook page are all ongoing ventures into keeping positive sexuality in people’s lives. What I focus on depends on what’s in the news. For many years, our time was focused on marriage equality. But the tipping point on that has past, so now I focus more on talking about street harassment, teaching media critique to pop culture consumers, affecting legislation around reproductive health and the body image issues that young people face.

Full 1mpact: In a recent seminar entitled, “The Man Myths,” we discussed what seems to be the degeneration of the male character in the last several decades. According to the 2011 US Department of Census, nearly 43% of children live without their father. What effect do you believe this has on kids, and more specifically boys and men?

Dr. Timaree: I think that it’s entirely possible for a young person, and a young man specifically, to be raised entirely by females and come out a completely functional, strong-of-character human being. That needs to be said.

However, I think that young men need to be disabused of the notion that their impact as a parent is somehow lesser. Because I also think a child can be raised entirely by males and still be a perfect adjusted human. Parenting is not a gendered activity. Nor is it an easy one. Males need to be reminded of their POWER as fathers, of the potential that parenting offers them, and the pride that can come from being a man who is strong, reliable and nurturing. Males get a lot of messages about how they can demonstrate power and influence. Let’s deconstruct those messages and see which ones are real and have lasting, long-term impact and which are just a superficial façade for the now.

Full 1mpact: A common theme we get asked at Full 1mpact is, “How can I become more attractive to others?” In your opinion what is something guys can do when approaching women (Or someone they’re attracted to.) to come across more attractive?

Dr. Timaree: This is one thing that men’s magazines do consistently get right (when they ask some random model this question). Because the answer is actually: confidence. However, there’s a big difference between self-involved arrogance and genuine confidence that radiates outward.

Confidence means that you don’t have to overcompensate by being flashy. That kind of peacocking will definitely get attention and land you some dates. That’s the whole thing behind Pickup Artistry. You can definitely strut and crow your way into a girl’s world. But that only works on a specific type of girl, namely one who believes in old-school stereotypes about gender and isn’t entirely sure of herself…. and needs your perceived masculine strength to make up for her lack of perceived ability.

So I guess it ultimately depends on WHOM you are trying to attract. Women are not wholly different from men in what they want: someone who is good looking, smart, fun to be around, and really, most significantly, LIKES THEM. We are attracted more to people who show attraction to us.

This is when it gets confusing for some. Because for those who aren’t patient enough for nuance, that means hollering at a girl is showing interest. Telling her she’s pretty, going right to asking her out, whatever. But I mean real, genuine interest in her as a person. Making it obvious that you’re into her specifically and not just throwing darts randomly to see what lands. Mastering this nuance is the difference between being perceived as a lame street harasser and being the kind of confident person who takes risks to try to win over someone they think is worth the trouble. Because the former is annoying, the latter is fascinating.

Full 1mpact: What is a common mistake most men make that they often overlook?

Dr. Timaree: In approaching women? I’d say there are some men who don’t take the time to learn how to read social cues. If someone consistently says they’re getting “friend-zoned” or something of that nature, it usually means a)they have a mistaken sense of entitlement that kindness towards women merits getting sex in return and b) they are not very skilled at reading facial/non-verbal shows of attraction.

This is a learned skill, cultivated through years of active effort to be aware of what everyone around you is feeling. And it’s not just some code like “she touched my arm, that is a sign of attraction.” It’s really trying to tap into the experience of another person so you can either get on their wave-length or get them on yours. It’s helpful in business, it’s helpful in social interactions, it’s definitely useful in dating. But, for some reason, it’s often undervalued.

Full 1mpact: In our “Attraction Series,” we discussed why one-liners and comments about women’s “assets” are not only ineffective, but really bad form. As a woman, I’m sure you’ve either witnessed or experienced this first hand. Can you tell us what that is like, how that translates to women, and why it is direly important to provoke simple conversation over previously mentioned behavior?

Dr. Timaree: Like I mentioned above, those things have very limited application. Yes, everyone wants to be attractive. But we want to be valued and respected too. And if the only feedback you give is on looks, which is pretty standard for a female to get, then it’s lame and uncreative (everyone does it to her all the time, especially if she is conventionally attractive) and also makes you seem like a person who only values her body. You’ll be simply adding yourself to the list of randoms who harass her on the street, yelling out the window that she has a nice ass.

And on top of that, in a world where 1 in 4 females experience an attempted or completed sexual assault, sexual comments of this nature can be disconcerting and even threatening. We don’t know if a guy is just fumbling for how to start conversation or if he’s going to get mad when he doesn’t get a positive response and then turn vicious. It’s not uncommon for a street harasser to say a woman is beautiful and then call her a stupid, ugly bitch when she doesn’t respond. Separate yourself from those guys in your behavior as much as possible.

Full 1mpact: What is something you wish most men would think about or focus on that would make a big difference in society as a whole?

Dr. Timaree: Wow. That’s a big question! I wish that all people could work on empathy and cultivating the skills to imagine reality through a lens of experience different than their own. One of the biggest sources of conflict is assuming we understand someone else’s beliefs, thoughts and motivations.
It’s easy to make a villain out of someone if you never bother to genuinely listen to their perspective. And one of the challenges for men, especially white heterosexual men, is to realize that they have not been socialized to think from other vantages. The vast majority of history, art, media and politics are constructed to speak the language and experience of middle-class white straight men, to depict their experience as default and universal. It takes an awakening to realize this is not most people’s reality, however, that there are other, equally valid vantages.

It’s not an individual man’s fault that he doesn’t know what life is like for a woman, especially a woman of color, a queer woman, etc. But it is his fault if he fails to try to do anything about it, if he fails to seek out media created by those groups and never gets around to listening to anything they have to say.

And this is not a problem solely for men. White women need to seek out and consume media created by people of color. Able-bodied folks need to read an essay or two written by someone with a physical disability. Americans need to read international news written by local reporters. It’s helpful to get that insight, to have the ability to contemplate how something will be perceived by someone else.

What is something a guy can do today to begin changing for the better, not only to be more attractive as a whole, but also more helpful?
I think this goes for all people: but to never become complacent, never assume you know enough. Always be learning, always be interested in gaining new insights and experiences.

This can mean reading books by authors from countries that you couldn’t find on map and going to events that feel out of your comfort zone. Take a class in something totally out of your element, politely make conversation with total strangers about something of substance.

Face the possibility of failure, look for experiences where you will probably not win. Be OK with looking silly, being perceived by people as being weird. Put yourself out there to be rejected, experience rejection, survive it. The strength you acquire from these learning opportunities will last longer than any other kind because it will be real.

Full 1mpact: And lastly what are some things you see some guys doing right that you find attractive?

Dr. Timaree: We are all drawn to the idea of adventure, fun and intelligence. We want to be around people who smile and laugh and make others around them smile and laugh. When we feel good about ourselves, we are attracted to the things we want to be like: happy, confident, and capable.

Many men shy away from showing enthusiasm. They’ve been told it’s gay or feminine to get excited about anything other than a short list of appropriately masculine interests (football, strip clubs, etc). But fewer and fewer people are falling for that and you want to draw in the folks who see possibilities, not limitations. You can generate excitement in others by demonstrating that you’re excited. I mean, what is sexier than seeing or feeling evidence that someone is turned on? Strive to be that… although not necessarily by walking around with a hard-on all day.  Get amped up about stuff, be ready for adventure, be game for life.

Full 1mpact: We want to thank you for your time and for your thoughts. We will continue to send our support.

5 Movie Characters Who Could Benefit From Full 1mpact

Posted in attraction, confidence, dating, friend zone, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2012 by full1mpact

In preparation for our January 9th event, the first of many free seminars, we want to do something a little fun.  What if we were able to offer our services to a few fictional characters we have seen in movies?  Granted, the movie wouldn’t have had the drama it did and it is that very drama that makes most movies enjoyable.  But what if, what if we could have helped and how would we have done this?  Imagine if Emperor Commodus was secure with his identity, or what if Fisher from 21 got out of his own ego and worked as a team?  Yeah, we’re not sure what would’ve happened either, probably wouldn’t have made as good of a movie, but hey, sometimes these fictional characters exist in people we know.  (Disclaimer:  We are not saying every case is curable or that we are therapists since several characters were in need of some serious therapy sessions.)  WARNING:  Movie Spoilers Ahead.

Movie:  Gladiator

Character:  Emperor Commodus

Storyline:  In short, Emperor Commodus smothers his father to death and takes over as ruler of Rome; he condemns Maximus to death for not giving him total loyalty.  Maximus rises up through the gladiator ranks and outshines the Emperor of Rome.  This provokes him to try numerous times to kill Maximus in the arena with no avail.  Finally he decides to fight Maximus himself after stabbing the gladiator in the side with a shiv to give the Emperor the advantage.  Still doesn’t work out for him as he is forced to taste that shiv for himself in one final fight.

Issue at hand:  Where do we start?  This guy is teaming with self-destructive habits and esteem. Chronic father issues aside, he falls victim to his own agenda and aspirations.  He desires to be the greatest ruler of Rome and tries desperately to fill the shoes of his father.  He constantly compares himself to other great men, unsure of his own identity, and disguises his quest to fill the void of genuine love in his life with the ambition of building a greater Rome and being loved in the eyes of the people.  And that is just the surface or tip of the iceberg so to speak.

How Full 1mpact Address This:  Let’s pretend for a moment that Commodus decides to get professional help for his lack of a father growing up and what issues rose to surface from that.  Yeah.  So how could we help?

Step 1:  Help him identify the great qualities that are inside of him that he respects in other men.  Doing this he begins to realize that he doesn’t have to fill someone else’s shoes or compare himself to another man.  He can be his own man without an ambition.  This will also show him he has no reason to be jealous of Maximus and he can be a true brother and friend or ally.  This security would also help him in dealing with bureaucratic politicians who would otherwise look down upon him for his lack of knowledge or experience.

Step 2:  Help him realize he doesn’t need everyone’s approval.  By introducing him to the “Man Myths” series he’d understand that pleasing everyone is just as impossible as it is taxing on the spirit.  It is also manipulative.  Manipulative in what ways? The idea that, if he does something for people, that they should love him.  That is buying love, or fishing for approval.  None of it works and men often get trapped into this especially when trying to attract a woman.  He would need to realize the great paradox, to put in motion things that would help Rome’s best interest in his opinion, but understand not everyone will approve or love him for it.  And be comfortable with that rather than threatened.

Step 3:  Though this ties into number two, it is still very relevant.  And that is to help him begin to start loving himself in a non-narcissistic, but healthy, manner.  This way he isn’t searching everywhere else for his needs.  He’d begin to understand the core of whomever and whatever he wants to be is deep inside him first.  Everything else will fall into line.

How will this all help him?  The father issue is the big obvious, and that goes without question that if the issue isn’t resolved it’d be hard to get anywhere.  Inside of that, he has two iconic men he is comparing himself to constantly and competing with.  It’s kind of like an amateur boxer deciding he’s going to compete and go twelve rounds with Mike Tyson.  That just never works out very well and you end up feeling jaded and tortured.  (And very sore.)

By identifying his own core virtues that make him strong in his own identity he has no need to compare.  He is solid with the belief he can be his own man and be iconic in his own way.  In doing so he could very well restore many broken relationships he already has.  With those relationships restored he could then understand and enjoy real love, not manufactured or manipulated love.  Or even demanded love, as we see later on in the film as he begins to spiral more out of control.

Movie:  Legends of the Fall

Character:  Alfred Ludlow

Storyline:  In Legends of the Fall we follow the Ludlow; The Colonel, three brothers, and Susanna, as they survive through seasons of trials of losing loved ones.  Tristan tries to wrestle with his inner wildness as Alfred tries to wrestle with his own identity as well; all the while each of them misses their brother Samuel that they lost in WWI.  All of the characters wrestle with love, historic battles, and seasons.

Issue At Hand:  Alfred tries hard to be a people pleaser, at the same time win the hand of Susanna, whose heart is still with Tristan.  Alfred blames and resents Tristan for Samuels’s death as well as Tristan’s success and popularity.  He also resents that Tristan allows himself to abide by own rules and is loved regardless.  Alfred goes on to pursue Susanna through persuasion and manipulation, blaming Tristan.  At the same time he becomes a successful politician and lives near his mother where he believes he’ll be accepted more.

How does Full 1mpact address this?:  This one isn’t as extensive as Mr. Commodus, and in fact is quite common.  I would even say half of the men we’ve encountered have had trouble similar to that of Alfred here.

Step 1:  Alfred is a people pleaser first and foremost.  He even says it himself at Susanna’s funeral.  “I followed all of the rules, man’s and God’s. And you, you followed none of them. And they all loved you more. Samuel, Father, and my… even my own wife.”  So our job is to get him to identify that life isn’t so much about rules, or even “Everyone’s” rules.  Again we have a guy who, out of insecurity, is comparing his love level to that of another man.  “What am I doing wrong?” is often the question at hand.  Tristan had to wrestle his own demons, while Alfred spent time pleasing everyone else which led to his work as a politician.  We would show him that he cannot please everyone.  He needs to make the choice to identify with his own demons, traits, skills, and character then go from there.  Build up from the core and decide his own set of rules and follow those.

Step 2:  Help him to understand he needs to take responsibility for himself, and his own actions.  Yes, very basic, but nonetheless very profound.  Like I said earlier, Alfred is a common scene in many guys, and so is the desire to pass responsibility.  Alfred blames Tristan for Samuel’s death, for Susanna being alone, for breaking all the rules, and doesn’t take a moment to realize what it is he is doing to add to the poison.  The Colonel, Alfred’s father, even says, “Samuel decided for himself to be a soldier, and soldiers are killed…” trying to get Alfred to understand it has nothing to do with the fact he is trying to pursue Tristan’s fiancé.  He fails to understand that he made the choice to try and persuade Susanna to be with him.  And that he himself became a people pleaser and manipulator.  Taking responsibility takes the power back to you, saying, “I have the power to make choices, good or bad, and the power to own up to them.”  Passing responsibility to someone else says, “They have the power to decide how much love I get, or who accepts me, or my path in life.”  By passing the responsibility, one also passes on their own personal power.

Step 3:  Teach him to attract a woman who loves him, not his brother.  A major issue of resentment was his wife still very much was in love with Tristan, even though Tristan knew it would never work.  The old Tristan died, and the new was born.  She never got passed that.  And despite that fact, Alfred still “persuades” her to marry him instead.  He manipulates her by offering her security, but the issue remains.  The issue is never addressed to the point where she realizes she cannot be happy without Tristan.  (An issue within itself.)  So she commits suicide.  A man should never have to persuade or manipulate love.  Had Alfred been his own man, comfortable and secure within himself and addressed his own personal demons in his own way, he could have found someone who’d compliment his character as he compliments hers.  He’d be able to attract someone who loves him for who he is not his brother.

How will all of this help him?:  Again he’d be secure in himself, and begin identifying his own demons to address rather than trying to place blame on his brother.  And rather than be someone who fishes for acceptance he accepts himself and puts the former aside.  Also, he’d understand more fully the dynamic of attraction between a man and a woman.  Rather than being jaded because a woman isn’t solely attracted to a comfortable lifestyle, he’d be secure in knowing that he had the power to attract a woman himself rather than compare himself to another man.

Movie:   The Holiday

Character:  Jasper

Storyline:  Ah, you didn’t think I’d go without a Christmassy movie this time of year did you?  In the Holiday Iris is still in love with a guy who is marrying another woman, a man who has, in the past, used her and eventually told her that their love is like “a round peg in a square hole, it just doesn’t fit.”  In order to get away from it all she swaps houses for the Holiday with a woman in California.  Here she begins to see from afar that the “love” she had with Jasper was pure venom.

Issue at Hand:  Though Jasper’s overall role in the film is pretty much a scant few scenes, his role is huge.  He is a womanizer, but not just a womanizer; he likes to keep them on an emotional string.  Interestingly enough, he knows perfectly how to bait the hook and cast it.  He understands attraction, and he fully understands manipulation.  And sadly, men like this rarely see themselves needing help from Full 1mpact when in fact they may need it the most.

How does Full 1mpact address this?:  We’d begin by first seeing how willing Jasper would be to see what exactly he is creating with his actions.  And also allow him to understand himself a little better and his “need” to control multiple women.  By control we mean using manipulation tactics.

Step 1:  Rather than calling him a womanizer and kicking his ass for his douchebag behavior, sometimes a more subtle approach is needed.  And that is to get him to identify that his actions are harmful.  I had a guy once ask, “Well what if I wasn’t married?”  My question immediately was, “Do all of the women in your life know about one another, and if so, are they okay with this?”  If the answer is no, then you, my friend are causing harm.  You are being dishonest at someone else’s expense.  It isn’t that Full 1mpact is all about monogamy, or against multiple relationships, so much as we are about honesty.  Honesty fills the gaps.  His actions are harmful in that when the truth is told, people are severely hurt.  His actions are at another person’s expense.  In the series, “Kill the Boy” that is typical “boy-behavior” in that his actions benefit him, and him alone.

Step 2:  Help him understand he needs to make a choice.  Either get married, or don’t.  Either seals the deal, and commit to a life devoted to one woman, or if Jasper still feels he needs to live in the dating circuit, by all means, do so.  But choose and commit to that choice.  And not at the expense of other people.  He’d be better respected if he could commit to a lifestyle, or commit to changing that lifestyle when the time is right rather than hook and bait women.

Step 3:  Help him to identify his need to control and manipulate the emotions of women, and keep them on a string for when he thinks he needs them later.  Pop Psychology would suggest this is a major mother issue at work here.  Possibly, or any number of possibilities without fully knowing the entire backstory.  But more than likely there is a deeper, more sinister work at hand.  Probably a wound inside that he hasn’t faced or wrestled with.  You see, though his actions seem light-hearted, “hey I just want to have some fun, be with some ladies, no harm, no foul here.” They are actually very aggressive towards women.  His aggression is in the form of emotionally baiting women and dishonesty.  Though we are not therapists here at Full 1mpact, we do have access to them and would suggest to him the need to see one.  Otherwise he poses the possibility of damaging every relationship with women he is in.

How does all of this help him?  Hopefully by identifying his “boy-behavior” he can begin to address new habits and actions and commit to who he wants to be without another person’s expense.  The previous lifestyle of using women to manipulate creates such a state of inner turmoil and drama; he’d appreciate the peace of just “being” with someone.  The freedom of allowing the cards to fall where they may is so liberating, especially to a relationship.  Meaning, we allow the other person to be whoever they wish.  Or be with, whomever they wish.

Movie:  Magnolia

Character: Frank T.J. Mackey

Storyline:  Two parallel and intercut stories dramatize men about to die: both are estranged from a grown child, both want to make contact, and neither child wants anything to do with dad. Earl Partridge’s son Frank is a charismatic misogynist; Jimmy Gator’s daughter is a cokehead and waif. A mild and caring nurse intercedes for Earl, reaching the son; a prayerful and upright beat cop meets the daughter, is attracted to her, and leads her toward a new calm. (Taken from IMDB since our explanation was too lengthy.)

Issues at hand:  Let us move aside the easy, pop psychology, father and mother issues.  Those two are obvious from the get-go and anyone who took basic human behavior or basic Psyche 101 can see that plain as day.  So we move to his actions.  He leads a men’s self-development program to help guys get women and be “better men.”  Hmm…sound familiar?  It’s obvious he has taken some profound pain and wreckage and compiled it into success in his own life.  You see the wreckage in spat throughout the film, until the end when it pours over, still unresolved.  Frank leads his followers down his own path in which he clearly brags about following what he preaches during an interview.  But the poison appears that he is leading men out of defense with an, “Us against them,” attitude.  He makes women the enemy, not a companion, through clear emotional manipulation techniques in order to gain control.  Sound familiar?  *coughJaspercough* He teaches other hurt men, who are seeking clear answers, to follow suite.  In the industry of dating advice, pick-up artists, and men’s development this can sometimes show up.  Rather than leading men through his past pain, he is leading them within it.  Meaning, he leads them as a result of the pain in a defensive manner than puts men against women in an aggressive stage where you “tame” her.  We could write an entire 20 page article on just this fictional character alone since there are a few like him.  Yes, a few men’s help gurus who teach similar to Frank’s philosophies.

How does Full 1mpact address this?:   This could pose a challenge for one main reason, and that is Frank sees himself as a leader of men. He puts himself out as a messiah in a way to men searching to have a level of success with women where they failed or were hurt in the past.  Rather than showing them a path that benefits both parties, he serves only to fuel their wounds with aggressive, sociopathic, and manipulative motives.  Frank believes he is right, and his followers feed that belief system.  Full 1mpact would have to hit him where it hurts, and show him those wounds could heal.  (After passing him a number to one of our many therapists.)

Step 1:  We’d have to demonstrate first-hand the ability to attract women at no one’s expense.  Show him, in the field that not only can it be done, but it can be done quite effectively.  Also demonstrate to him that true masculinity is not threatened by true femininity.  They complement one another.  In order to show him this we’d allow him free consultation with one of our field experts to work with him.  Considering he’d take any of our advice we’d have to show him we’re not a threat, as women are not a threat.

Step 2:  Take him to The Man Myths 101 Boot Camp.  Why?  His ideas of masculinity shown on film suggest he’s adopted lies of true manhood and masculinity.  To say the least, he’s even quoted his own “how to” chapter entitled, “How to fake like you are nice and caring.”  The message here is telling men not to be either one.  To pretend and put up a cardboard cut out of whom you want them to see you as.  One of the myths is that men shouldn’t show emotion or be caring.  There is a difference between being overly emotional and “too caring,” and being in touch with both.  At the boot camp he’d be forced to address all of the above issues and consider them.  He’d also be forced to compare his ideas of masculinity to what is real and what is myth.

Step 3:  Work WITH his organization.  Huh?  Did I just write that?  Why would Full 1mpact work with an organization that alienates and manipulates women?  The character of Frank T.J. Mackey is a master at men’s emotions, not just women’s.  He understands what motivates men, and how to push the pain button to get them in his seminars.  And he already has masses of true believers.  By side-saddling with him we’d agree to revamp his seminars considering he’d let us in.  After steps one and two, he’d be questioning the authenticity of his organization and how to proceed further in a more positive direction.  Imagine if he went public and apologized for his previous theories.  His organization would double, with not only the support of men, but also women.  Working with Full 1mpact would be win/win for both parties.

Movie:  Just Friends

Character:  Chris Brander

Storyline:  Chris Brander has always been friends with Jamie Palamino, but now decides it is time to take his relationship to the next step. The problem is, is that Jamie still wants to be ‘Just Friends’. When he runs away and moves to L.A., he becomes an attractive music manager, who everyone wants. When he ends up back home, to his surprise, he encounters Jamie again, and sets out to be more than ‘Just Friends’ this time. Curtsey of IMDB

Issue at Hand:  The friend-zone.  Ah, yes the evil, inevitable, friend-zone that so many of us have encountered over the years.  You buy her gifts, flowers, write her poems and give her free artwork, and yet…you’re friend-zoned.  Why can’t a girl just love a guy for who he is, and why can’t a guy just wear his heart on his sleeve?  Especially when you show her that you’re always there for her no matter what, and then show her you can give her whatever she needs?  Well, we’re about to answer that question for you.   But first, let’s identify that the Chris Brander we’re talking about in this film is prior to him leaving for Los Angeles.

How would Full 1mpact address this?:  This is one of the most common issues men run into with a girl they like.  We would show Chris how to create attraction by first creating his own boundaries.  Then we’d follow up by showing him the difference between the good guy and the nice guy.

Step 1:  Get him OUT of the “friend behavior set” as soon as possible.  At the beginning of the film it is possibly too late for our friend Chris.  He’s friend-zoned himself so solid he might as well go and get his nails done with her.  Whether he is friend-zoned or not at this point is irrelevant since the skill set he would learn of identifying the zone would help him with future endeavors.

Step 2:  Help him to understand the difference between identifying her great qualities and honoring her, as opposed to putting her on a pedestal.  In the film, at the beginning you see him with what some would consider a shrine of her.  That level of “devotion” puts unrealistic expectations on her, as well as him and sets him up for failure.  (As he finds out in the film.)  It is okay to see great qualities in a woman, but it is something else entirely to make her the center of your universe and source of your happiness.  As romantic and poetic as it sounds, when you make someone the source of your happiness you objectify them and place an expectation on them to provide you that happiness.  Whether you realize it or not.  Happiness should always come from within, not without.

Step 3:  Full 1mpact would set him up with the confidence package.  Yes, that confidence is what we’d work on in order to help him stay out of the friend-zone.  You see, if he had the level of confidence he needed, he’d take the risk of putting his neck out there and saying directly what his intentions are.  Guys who friend-zone themselves take the easy way, or what they believe is the less painful route.  With the belief they’ll sneak in through the back door and “show her” how caring they really are by “always being there,” often the only message they are relaying is, “I’m a great friend,” and nothing more.  With confidence in his arsenal, Chris Brander would be able to not only deliver that message, but be able to follow through in the future.

I hope you enjoyed this as we pulled apart some of our favorite flicks with some serious, and hopefully some humorous musings with these fictional characters.  We understand that without those characters, these stories just wouldn’t be the same and would never take away from the writer’s hard work in putting those stories together.  If you want any information about Full 1mpact, seminar dates, or consultation information, please email us at full1mpact@yahoo.com or find us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Full1mpact .  Thank you for taking your time out to read this and have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year, we will see you on January 9th.  –William M. Jeffries