Archive for the mentorship Category

Stand In The Gap

Posted in charismatic, confidence, inspirational, mentorship, self development, self help with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 17, 2013 by full1mpact

When I was a senior in High School, I ended up having to take an underclassman Algebra class.  Mainly to make up for credits due to some car accident I was in that year that put me in a troubled teen hospital.  But that’s another story.  I hated Math.  At that point in my life I hated a lot of things about school, life, people, and math.

Because my previous class was so close to this particular one, I was always the first there and I’d sit in the back.  I was the only senior in that class and yes, I felt dumb.  I struggled with Algebra and all forms of number issues.  I always remember one kid who’d come into the room shortly after me.  Probably a sophomore or possibly a freshman.   I remember him because he was the poster child for stereotypical nerds.  Big glasses, usually wore slacks, sometimes even a bow-tie..and yes…a pocket protector.  In fact, as I’m writing this article I got out my year book, and there he is, in a bow-tie with his massive glasses.  I guess he was a sophomore after all.

He usually tried to sit near the front and avoid contact with another boy who’d come in fourth or fifth or sometimes right after him.  The other, kid, much larger, would stare him down and go sit a desk or two side-by-side with him.  Never said anything but I recognized the larger boy because he was on the Junior Varsity football team and I had seen him hanging around that crowd a lot.  Seemed decent enough, but the first time I saw him glare down the nerdy boy it struck me as odd.  What could he have possibly against him?

That tiny moment, that predator stare, I recognized it immediately.  I knew it because I remember that being done to me by other people.  The predator stalks its prey, to feel powerful, or better about themselves, or to prove something.  Whatever the case, I remembered that look all too well and it hit something in me.  Like a switch going off.  The predator was so focused it didn’t see the other eyes in the back of the room watching.  Or it didn’t care.  Either way that boy was now on my radar.

A few days passed and nothing ever came of it until later in the week I saw that look in the larger kid again.  Teacher was out in the hall or wherever teachers go for 6 or 7 minutes between classes.  But in he stalked, glaring down at the boy who would even look up.  Then he just stopped, right in front of his desk and stood there.  I knew what the boy sitting there felt like.  This larger, “tougher,” boy just staring you down and you’re on eggshells, processing what to do to not look weak, but not make him upset as to take it out on you.

I watched, eagerly, because of all of the things I mentioned above that I hated…I hated bullies the most.  A violent, sociopathic, non-healthy, sort of hate.  (I had issues, judge as you will.) And as I watched the bully started to say something.  To this day I don’t even remember what he was saying.  I do remember he bumped the smaller kid’s desk with his leg and got all wild-eyed.  The smaller kid answered meekly and was holding his pencil.  I remember because I could see his hand shaking.

I’d had enough and said, “Is there a ****’n problem?”  They both looked up at me shocked.  I hadn’t spoken a word to anyone in that class since the 1st day.  At first the bully had a look like, “who would dare?” then his skin turned pale.  Then he made a statement about how he was just joking around and they were just friends.  Funny how even in High School that excuse is still used.

I wasn’t a big kid, I was very scrappy and still fairly underdeveloped for my age, but at that point I didn’t care much for the rest of my school year.  I begged God above to give me the chance to go crazy on this bully.  Instead the bully sulked over to his seat still glaring at the other boy and muttered something under his breath.  Coward.  I spoke again, “He obviously doesn’t think so, if I ever see or hear of you bothering him again, you’ll have me as a problem.”  He insisted he was joking to which I countered with telling him to shut his mouth along with other colorful words.  From then on, in that class anyway, I was the predator watching his every move, not needing to ever speak again.

Later, after the end of the school year I was at a party at a friend’s house when a girl I had recognized approached me.  She was an upper classman to me when I was still in High School.  She thanked me for sticking up for her little brother.  She then told me how that boy had bothered her little brother from 7th grade until his sophomore year relentlessly.  Teachers never took the parent’s complaints too seriously and the torment would continue. After that little intervention, he never bothered her brother again.  That is all it took.

I bring this up not to pat myself on the back, the world knows I have delivered my share of shame and detestable actions.  I bring this up because I was reminded of this incident today as I read the headlines of yet another kid being bullied.  Anymore you don’t have to look far and we had even written an  about this some time ago.

Recently a boy had asked Santa to bring a Christmas present early.  That present is to stop his sister from being bullied any further.  No longer did he wish for a remote control car or helicopter, but instead to intervene on behalf of his sister.  It has pierced his heart and he no longer knows where to go.  I know many parents are doing their best, but so many questions need to be asked and so many children need to know this is not okay.

bully

How do we begin to stand up for others?  How do we fill the gap?  In our seminars we mentioned how men, true masculine, mature, men, are protectors and defenders of those who cannot fend for themselves.  No matter what race, gender, creed, or orientation.  My grandfather once told me that some courage is standing up for what is right, or for someone else, when no one else will.  I’m not sure how to close this except with one last question; what will you do to fill the gap, to stand for someone else?  What will you do?

M. Larsen

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Five Life Lessons I Learned as a Boxer

Posted in inspirational, men, mentorship, self development, self help with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 12, 2013 by full1mpact

When I look back at the different sports I had tried when growing up, boxing in my opinion was the best. Team sports just never suited me and as my grandfather once put it, “If it’s one vs. one then the only person you have to blame is yourself.” That level of advice can either be comforting or the realization that you only have yourself to rely on, can be frightening.
Taking a glance back to those days, I realize that there were life lessons being learned. Lessons that I would later understand could be applied to any area of life with ample amount of success. These lessons are easy to learn and can give you and edge.

Learn to Stand:

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When I first started boxing at the ripe old age of seventeen I half expected to immediately learn know to send my fist straight into some dude’s pie hole. Nope. Not my coach. He’d first teach me that if I was to learn anything, it’d be with the ability to stand. What I mean is, in boxing, there is a specific way of standing so your weight is not only balanced, but you also to utilize the same weight to add a lot of power to your punches. And a way to stand that you won’t be knocked around so easily, yet move fairly lucid.

In life, if you’re going to get anywhere, you’re going to need to learn to stand and learn balance. Whether you’re standing up for yourself, for who you are, for who you want to be, taking a stand, or simply standing on your own, independently; standing is survival in its most raw form. Without the ability to stand strong, you become off balance. Life can, and will, (I guarantee.) will knock you around, and then knock you down. If you’re off balance you cannot become flexible and maneuver through life so easily.

However, learning to stand on your own is liberating. No longer do you rely on others to stand for you, speak for you, or decide for you; you are able to do so alone. Not to say there won’t be times when you need someone there to lean on when encountering the fight of your life, those times do happen. But not all the time. Standing is being that pillar of strength, unshaken, relentless, and like cast iron. You move when you must, fluidly and balanced.

Throw a Correct Punch:

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The second thing I learned was, of course, how to hit. My first coach, fortunately, was a perfectionist to some degree. He insisted in starting with a slow jab. First, slowly going through the motion then perfecting it as you speed up. From one jab I graduated to the double jab, then a double jab and left hook combo. Then the traditional one, two, and one two three combo’s. He always told us to never just throw one punch, always throw a minimum of two, and more if possible to open the guy up. And always punch THROUGH the target for more power. Your target isn’t his face; it’s the back of his head. Your target isn’t his belly, it’s his spine. You’re just reaching it through the front door.

His son threw what I thought was a perfect hook. I wanted to throw a hook exactly like that, and one late practice he showed me how. Of course, it took me years and years to get close to how sharp he had it. I must have thrown hundreds of thousands of hooks in the bathroom mirror trying to perfect it. I moved away from that town to where I live today and found another coach. During practice he saw the hook and asked, “Where’d you learn to throw a hook like that and make it stick, son?” I told him I had a few good coaches. That hook would save me from losing a few fights in the ring, and give me confidence where I had none previously.

With life comes adversity. Some of us are born into it, others it shows up later on in life. Either way, it is there. Learning to punch in boxing is like learning to throw down in life. Life will come at you and often hit you. You must push forward. You must stand up, look adversity in the eye, and throw a punch. At first, sometimes, it seems difficult and clumsy. But every time you throw your focus out there, or you throw your faith out there, and you stand up and say, “I can do this!” it gets easier to hit. The target gets more finite. You no longer throw wild haymakers, you use the balance you got when you learned how to stand and you twist, throwing your power from the depths of your soul through adversity. You punch through it to get to your goals in life, with your eyes never leaving your real target.

You Will Be Hit, and You Will Be Knocked Down:

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This goes without saying, if you join a boxing club, (I’m not talking about those aerobic boxing thingies, I am talking about a real competing gym where you get in a real ring.) you will be hit. A lot. You will be knocked down. You will be cut and bruised. You will be hit so damn hard your bones will rattle and you will see pretty lights. And all of it will happen before you compete in your first registered fight.

Then, once you fight, you will be knocked down. You will be hit so hard your body gives up. Sometimes you can get back up, and sometimes you will sleep and be unable to. But you have to answer to that. You cannot just stand there and let yourself be hit. You have to get up and hit back. I don’t have to tell anyone reading this how hard life hits. As Rocky told his son, “No one hits as hard as life, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it.” Fictional as he is, no truer words could have been spoken. I have had spirit breaking moments in my life. I have had times in my life where I wondered why I was here. I’d beg whatever God was listening to just finish me. But see, my fight isn’t over yet.

Once we accept the fact that sometimes tough things happen, we must move over it, through it, around it, behind it, or on top of it, and get refocused on your goal. So you were hit, so you were knocked down, so what. Get up. Fight on. I remember getting punched in the face so hard that I heard a weird pop then told a friend that the last hit I took really hurt. He looked at me, smirked, and then said, “We all get hit, you’ll get used to it.” Later in life, I’d find out my nose had been broken nearly a dozen times. If I wanted to fight on, I had to get over it. And I did. And if I can do it, so can you.

You Must Get In The Ring:

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In boxing, to call yourself a real fighter you must have several fights on your record. You must get in the ring. You have to face that opponent one on one, or you’re not considered a fighter, let alone a contender. Lots of guys are tough guys, lots of guys walk and strut and put on a good show. But lots of guys are not fighters. There is a difference. There is something to getting in that ring where you learn lessons in life that cannot be expressed in words alone. My first fight I learned a thousand lessons.

Something about getting in that ring makes it so you have nothing to prove to anyone. Not ever. If a person cannot step into that ring, then it doesn’t matter how much strutting and puffing one does, they will not impress a fighter. A fighter will walk away from a non-ring fight, with the words, “Come to the ring if you wanna fight,” on their mantle. When you step into that ring, you, and you alone, are responsible for the win. No one else. Just you.

Everyone reading this has an arena of their own they contend in. Everyone. But not everyone gets in the ring. Not everyone takes responsibility for losing the fight. This concept stretches to the far reaches of your soul though. Everything you do, everything you are, is an arena of some kind. But the ring, that’s something else entirely. That’s the part where you put it all on the line. There are a lot of armchair politicians, eager to badmouth a leader here, and a leader there. There are a lot of armchair football coaches, baseball coaches, and the list goes on. There are a lot of critics and cynics, complainers, and advice givers. But there are not a lot of people doing anything about it. Whatever “it” is. Not a lot of people getting in the ring. Because to get in the ring, means you have to win or lose and face who you are. What you’re capable of. You have to stand before an audience and throw down with life. The audience may or may not approve. It doesn’t matter because it is you in there, not them.
As you’re reading this, ask yourself, “Am I winning this thing, or is life having its way with me?” Be honest. Because despite anything that’s happened to us so far in life, the majority of us are where we are because of what we have chosen. There are few, very few, exceptions. My coach would tell me, “Know that your opponent is training as hard, if not harder, than you. You know if you’re pushing yourself or not.”

Get a Good Coach:

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My first coach was a hardened, tough as nails, Vietnam vet, who called us princesses, but still believed in us. He taught me more than the basics, and despite his grizzled outer shell, he cared for all of his fighters. He knew what to look for, and he knew how to teach. He knew how to break it down to you so you could understand what it is you needed in order to go the extra mile.

My second coach was out here on the West Coach and quite literally looked exactly like Little Mac’s coach from that 80’s game, Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. His knuckles were freakishly huge and he was a former professional fighter and a champion. When he found out I was a South Paw, (Someone who fights unorthodox, or is left handed.) he said he wouldn’t coach me until I learned orthodox style. Discouraged but still eager to fight, I did it anyway.

I would start out each of the fights I had with this coach orthodox; then when he told me to, I’d switch to southpaw. Simple, but effective, strategy that brought a few good wins my way. He would push me until I didn’t think I could go any further. Through all of this he’d continue to encourage me and I always knew I he had my back. In fact, both of my coaches I was very proud to have in my corner. I know a bad coach when I see one these days, and both of these men were outstanding coaches.

I will tell you this, like I’ve told many other guys in the seminars, if you have not had a mentor in this lifetime, I truly grieve for you. Some people’s parent or parents are good mentors. Some people have several mentors. Others have none. A mentor is someone who sees outside of your sphere of influence as you know it. They see the big picture and the inner workings both, and they see what you cannot yet see. They are like a guiding light. They will not fight the fight for you, but they are beside you, pushing you, and in your corner, getting your spit bucket ready with an earful of helpful advice to take down this opponent.

A mentor, or a coach, is someone you surround yourself with that has no problem telling you that you’re getting lazy in there. At the same time they care that you win. They are givers, and creators, they live knowing and hoping whatever it is that they help you with, or push you towards, that you will be great. They need very little thanks, because their livelihood is centered on helping others get through the very obstacles they overcame themselves.

Just like competing in boxing without a coach makes no sense, so does fighting through life with no mentor, no coach. Find someone that you see as better than, or more successful than yourself and draw close to them. Ask them to mentor you. Study their work and emulate them. Becoming a better artist means you watch great artists work, and you work hard yourself. Same goes for writing and music. Same goes for engineering and construction work. Any job, career, or life time dream has someone who has mastered it. Find a master and learn from them.

—William M. Jeffries

Men and Health

Posted in attraction, men, men's health, mentorship with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2013 by full1mpact

 

About six years ago I reached an all-time health low for myself. Between chronic migraines, joint problems, and back problems, I had also weighed in at the doctor at a high 220 lbs. For me that was big. I knew something had to be done so I picked up an eating lifestyle change that allowed me to drop the weight I needed. Now, this topic isn’t about weight loss so much as it is lifestyle and one supplement in particular that really stuck out to me during my personal change. That supplement is Omega-3.

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During my change I was given a list of must-have’s by a nutritionist who said, “Protein is a must, drop sugar, drop most dairy for a long time, and never, ever…EVER….forget your omega-3’s.” Being the obsessive type that I am, I did research on it. Later on I’d move into the supplemental health and wellness field and do even MORE research on multitudes of supplements. To this day I still research and look into new supplements on the market as well as different vitamins, minerals, and greens that help us in our day to day lifestyle. So when I came across the benefits of Omega-3’s I was astounded.

Before I get into the why’s and how’s I want to answer a question many of you are probably asking, guys mainly, and that is, “What does this have to do with men’s development and/or being a man?” Easy. Men take care of themselves. Men, real men, are aware of their health and possible future health problems. I’ve heard many times that “Real men groan and avoid the doctor and just never go if possible.” This is a lie because “real men” know the power of health, life, and being around for their loved ones. It’s as simple as that. In fact, of the three hundred plus women I interviewed on “What you’re attracted to in men;” Many said that men who take care of themselves send a clear message that he is capable of taking care of her too, if need be. And men who don’t take care of themselves send another message entirely. That he may put her in position to play mom to him.

With that said, back to this Omega-3 thingy. Most of you have heard a thing or two about it, Dr. Oz has talked about it, I don’t know how many times. My brother, the doctor, has prescribed it for patients as well. But what really makes this a big deal? Why is this must have? And in my opinion, despite many popular claims, this is really an overlooked supplement. Especially in the sports nutrition field, it isn’t really marketed at all. You see ads for proteins, pre-workouts, and post-workouts with sexy sculpted people on the package. Not Omega-3’s. You see fish. This should be the sexiest product of them all! Why? Well because of the benefits of course!

What is Omega-3? It is your essential fatty acid that your body uses for a multitude of reasons I’m about to get into. As opposed to your Omega-6 and 9’s, your body cannot make or provide Omega-3, so it must get it from a food source. The best source is through fish or flaxseed. But mostly fish. Fish oils at the store have a concentrated amount with the metals of actual fish filtered out. Omega-3 is comprised of DHA, EPA, and LA that help tremendously with your body’s needs.

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Let’s go to the benefits:
1. Brain health: DHA in the fish oil is critical in the help of brain function. I could write a book on the benefits of brain health alone. Helps with memory, keeps your brain from oxidization, levels out your hormones, levels out mood and the feeling of well-being. High levels of DHA are also prescribed to children with various levels of autism, ADHD, and other disorders. There are a multitude of tests done on cognitive response, memory capacity, and lowering levels of brain inflammation because of DHA use.
2. Lowers your Cholesterol: The polyunsaturated fats have been shown to lower triglycerides in patients and people suffering from high cholesterol which, in turn, lowers the chances of heart disease.
3. Omega-3 the Natural Anti-inflammatory: It’s been shown to slow down, if not stop the inflammatory response in the human body. Inflammation of the brain, body, and other areas. That inflammation can damage muscle tissue, brain tissue, and other soft tissues leading to arthritis, joint problems, and a plethora of mental disorders.
4. Joint problems: Again the anti-inflammatory response Omega’s have helped with joint issues.
5. Eye health: The EPA is known to help with eyesight and overall eye health.
6. Fish Oil with high levels of EPA and DHA will do your taxes for you and save you money. Okay maybe not that. But having better health is something your health insurance provider will appreciate. As will your lack of medical related bills.
7. Cardio: EPA and DHA helps with overall heart health and the prevention of heart disease.

So there you go; seven benefits of Fish Oil with high Omega-3 from just off the top of my head. There are hundreds of articles, research tests, and lab results that are open to the public if you want to put my claims to the test. The benefits are worth reminding yourself that your health is important to you.
But before you go out and just buy any old fish oil, just know not all fish oils are created equally. There is a LOT of rubbish out there. So here are just a few things to note before you go out and buy any market brand fish oil.
1. Know your label. Just because it says 1000 mgs of Omega-3’s, doesn’t mean it is the essential parts you need. Your key is these next set of letters; EPA and DHA. If it is not specific to the amount of each in your fish oil or Omega-3 supplement, put it down. Then walk away. There are even companies being sued now because of low quality fish oils, stating on their label its 1000 or more mgs of Fish Oil. Well it is, but not the EPA and DHA that is beneficial. It’s basically the fish eye and gut juice that have no benefit except to smell and taste fishy. (Which isn’t really a benefit)
2. Know your companies. If the brand name or manufacturer is Kirkland, RiteAid Brand, GNC, Solaray, Nature’s Bounty, Costco Brand, Kmart, Target, Walgreens, TwinLabs, Vitamin World Brand, Wal-Mart Brand, or CVS Brand (ANYTHING RETAIL BRAND); put it down right away. Those are just examples of companies tested and being sued now for high level so PCB’s and Mercury. That is something you don’t want in your body.

Put this one down too!  Not quality.

Put this one down too! Not quality.

Voted worst brand ever.

Voted worst brand ever.

3. Use liquid refrigerated if possible. Many times in the process of making the capsules the DHA and EPA get oxidized and lose its benefit. So now you’re taking a capsule for nothing. Some do, some don’t, but there is no way of telling if your batch of softgels has been oxidized or not.
4. Choose brands that have a great reputation and are pharmaceutical grade. Nordic Naturals they have some of the highest ratings in great fish oils. Garden of Life, NOW Brand, Schiff, Coromega, and Solgar, are some of the best as far as pure quality is concerned.image_27845_450_white
5. If you must use capsules, my suggestion is Nordic Naturals or Garden of Life. Those companies have had impeccable reputations and use the highest standards.
So when you think of your overall health, and consider a form of Omega-3 in Fish Oils this is a somewhat simple guide. If it is for your health you want the absolute best. I hope this was helpful for you in your journey to great health.

– William M. Jeffries.

Crossroads

Posted in charismatic, dating, inspirational, mentorship with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2013 by full1mpact

 

I want you to think about a time in your life where you were faced with some very hard choices.  Maybe they were challenges.  Maybe it was what school to go to, what job to get into, or where to move.  Maybe it was a life changing choice like marriage, moving away, or deciding on something you knew, deep in your heart of hearts, it was something you had to do.  No matter what.

Now I want you to think about the choice you made.  Maybe you were happy with the outcome, and then again, maybe not.  Or maybe you followed what you felt was the smartest or safest route, but yet it wasn’t quite how you wanted it to be or how you pictured it.  Think back also, to the people who supported you and maybe a few that didn’t.  I imagine by now you already have a surge of subtle emotion about these experiences.  That’s good because it tells me you still have a heart.  And whether or not you feel great about the choices you’ve made or not, there is a chance to make the most of it.

Fifteen years ago I’d make a choice that would change my life and how I perceive everything forever.  I had the support of only about a handful of people.  One of which is like a brother to me to this very day.  I had people that I loved dearly tell me the choice was not intelligent and I should consider a more menial choice of a life of work.  And though many acted as though they were in support, I’ve always been able to pick out the pretenders.  Their sentences always ended with, “But if you don’t make it…” or, “I wouldn’t make that choice but you have to do what you have to do.” And the list goes on.  I was terrified.  But despite the adversity, a fire welled inside my heart that I couldn’t betray.  I knew if I let this opportunity slip, I’d die inside in a way that I’d never be able to recover from.

In short, I made a leap of faith, and though the first couple of years were rough, it was well worth it.  When I look back at that young kid, who had no idea what the fire would be like, I smile; glad he has no idea what will happen.  Because if he did, he might lose faith and he might never know what true courage is.  He may never find out what it is to take the journey to true manhood either.  As great as all of that may sound, it is still very humbling because none of it could have been done without the support of a few.  There was help along the way.  Most of it was unexpected.

Earlier I had asked you to look back for an instance at the choices you’ve made in your life.  The reason is because I hear many crossroads stories talking to the men I’ve interviewed.  I’ve heard stories of both triumph and regret coming from people who’ve run into those choices in their lives.  So what does all of this have to do with Reinvention?  Everything.  Reinvention is part of change, it is a choice, and it is a path in your journey.

Reinvention to me is taking the courage go down a path of change and exploration.  A path of complete uncertainty, but filled with great reward.  I had a guy I was consulting a while back who told me if his fears of changing things about himself he was dissatisfied with.  One main fear was the fear of hardship.  I told him, “Hardship comes regardless of the path you take.  Hardship is a part of life at times.  So choose your path and let the hardships come, at this point you then have the advantage of knowing you’re on your path rather than being on the path of mediocrity and still having to deal with hardships.”  Choose the fire in your heart.  Here are three quick tools that help in the process.

  1.  Keep the dream alive: Whatever you do, never let your dream die.  Even if it’s a tiny cinder, it can be reignited into a pillar of light for all to see.  There are many who’ll try to douse the flame.  Whether it’s because deep inside they see it is a threat to their own choices of mediocrity, or because they don’t understand, or they’re just trying to look out for you from their own understanding.  It doesn’t matter.  Keep your dream alive.  Only you know if it’s real.

 

  1. Envision the Outcome:   Picture, in your heart and in your mind what the overall picture of your dream is.  What you look like both inside and out.  What your dream looks like.  And keep that picture with you everywhere you go.  Focus on it and never settle for anything but that outcome.  You may ask yourself, “how will I get there,” or, “I don’t know what to do to get the ball rolling.”  It’s not your job to put it all together right away.  It’s your job to do step three, below.

 

  1. Take the First Step:  Martin Luther King Jr. is quoted as saying, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”  This is key to any change.  Take the first step in faith.  It could be researching a career, finding ways to change a bad habit; it could be opening you up to new ideas.  Whatever it is, it’ll reveal itself to you and you have to simply take one step.

 

Next Wednesday we’ll be going over more steps and specific tools you can use in whatever journey you’re taking in this life.  We’ll discuss ways of getting through and around the common wall of adversity.  I firmly believe that dreams are conceived in the womb of the heart, but born in the fires of adversity.   Join us as we take a close look at these ideas and inspire one another to dream big.  One last note I want to leave you with.  This is a video clip of Rocky telling his son how it is.  One of the greatest father to son speeches in my honest opinion.  With that, I challenge you to dream big and step big my friends.

 

William M. Jeffries

Full 1mpact: The Man Myths (Back to Basics)

Posted in arrogance, attraction, charismatic, confidence, dating, Fear, inspirational, men, men's health, mentorship, nice guys, self development, women with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 16, 2012 by full1mpact

It has been quite some time since the last update on the blog here.  A lot has happened since then and now.  We put Full 1mpact in a brief hiatus in order to really focus on our future material, and the up and coming seminars we want to have.  Those of us who are familiar with the inner workings of Full 1mpact understood we needed to get back to basics.  What are the basics?

The basics are the core essential truths we believe that help us become more impactful in our own lives.  Truths that diffuse the myths we’ve been taught growing up.  Truths that help us define ourselves and one another and shed light on lies we once believed.  If I am allowed to say what I believe Full 1mpact is, I would say it is a launch pad for men to have a greater impact in their own lives, and to the lives around them.  Isn’t that what everyone wants?

On January 9th, 2013, Full 1mpact is opening its doors for the first time to the entire public.  This is also why we decided to get laser focused and refine our material for all of you.  We will be introducing to you, The Man Myths, which is a collective work of material that been put together to de-myth much of what we were raised to believe.  If you think back to what we’ve been taught all of our lives, since day one, then you understand that this is the basics.  Yet the basics are not so basic after all.

What if I told you everything you were taught to believe on masculinity can be summed up into three main categories?   And what if, of those three categories, only one of them truly holds the key to pure masculinity?  Was that something we were taught growing up?  Not to me it wasn’t.  And not to 95% of the men I interviewed prior to this study.  Neither were the men online who I researched in forums, in person, and in case-studies.  Basics.  We need to get back to basics.  To the core.

Why do we need to get back to the core of our beliefs or belief system?  What if I told you that whatever it is you believe filters everything you see, judge, and interpret?  Everything.  Now, what if what we, as men, were taught about masculinity, and being a “real man,” was a lie?  Or a half truth.  And that false belief now filters how we perceive everything around us. Can you begin to see where I’m heading with this?

When I was growing up I did not have a father to show me even a sliver of what a real man was about.  Or even a theory of what that might look like.  I was blasted with what my peers believed was masculine, the media’s ideas, and tried to match that with my tiny physique that was the stereotypical weakling.  With no guidance I had no choice but to accept the norms.  Later through a lot of pain I would be forced to map it out myself.  Sound familiar?  This is what most guys do not talk about.  We hide our ignorance because we’re unsure, and we like to appear certain.  But guess what?  We have some keys that will help.  Now you can be certain!

On January 9th, 2013, at 7pm, Full 1mpact will be meeting at the Pasadena Library Auditorium for a free seminar that de-myths much of what we were taught growing up.  And we will show you how to overcome old beliefs, and how to recognize them.  We will also show you how this can be good or bad for your friendships, relationships, and ability to attract a woman or keep a woman.

Hope to see you there.

 

William M. Jeffries

What Is A Money Map?

Posted in inspirational, men, mentorship, self development, Steve Siebold, T Harv Eker with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2012 by full1mpact

      When you hear the word “rich,” or “wealth,”  what comes to you mind?  What do you think of?  How about this, when you think of someone who is rich, what comes to mind?  Is it negative?  Do you feel a positive feeling or negative feeling?  And with money, is it positive or negative?  Did you know your feelings on money can have a drastic effect on your income based on the choices you make while having those feelings?  It’s true.  But let us break it down to you a little bit rather than making a simple statement without some sort of backing on this claim.

      So what does any of this have to do with a “money map,” and what exactly is a “money map?”  I’m going to blatantly copy T. Harv Eker’s theory here, on what he called your “Financial Blueprint.”  Like a house has a blueprint in which it’s foundations lie, and you need a roadmap, (Or GPS now days.)to get anywhere, inside of you is a map of your money.  What’choo talk’n ’bout Willis???  In essence, subconsciously each of us carries a truth on how we perceive money and the ability to achieve money or what we consider success.  And we follow it.  To a tee.

      Let me explain this further.  In doing so let us start with the very basics of human behavior.  I did a handful of human behavior papers myself in school, and learned that the first seven years of your life are extraordinarily influential in your core beliefs and behaviors.  You don’t have to look far to find articles from various Universities on child development to find that statement backed up.  The core is molded by the family situation, parents, teachers, popular thoughts and ideas.

      Based on that mold you then adopt “truths” in which your walk in life is formed.  For the most part.  Later, as you develop further, many beliefs are rebutted, enforced, or supported.  Usually enforced and supported.  Good or bad.  They could be truths as simple as, “People like to talk to me,” or “All women lie,” and once it has been confirmed your subconscious works overtime to promote the belief structure.

      On a side note, it is important to separate the idea of truth from fact.  Truths are not facts.  They are beliefs.  Many are based around facts, but are merely perceptions of perceived facts.  Confused yet?  This was a hard nugget to swallow when I first discovered this.  Truth and facts are different.  A fact can be a math equation.  The laws of gravity.  You drop a pencil it falls to the floor.  The fact is, it fell to the floor.  The truth is your perception of how it fell as opposed to your friend who saw it fall from the other side of the same room.  You both saw it fall, but you both may have seen it a bit differently.  Or a lot differently depending on the circumstance.  Make sense?

      Again, what does this have to do with this “Money Map” idea?  In T. Harv Eker’s book, “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,” he says, “Children do not come out of the womb thinking, ‘I’m a millionaire,’ or ‘I’m poor,’ they are taught this.”  You are taught your belief on income.  Think about any negative statements about money growing up and if it has had an effect on how you see yourself making money.

      Let me lend a few from my own life.  Money doesn’t grow on trees.   I can’t afford this or that.  Must be nice to be rich because I’m poor.  Rich people are stingy and greedy.  The list goes on.  There is certainly a segregation of wealth class but much has to do with what we are taught.

      During my studies in human behavior we had an equation similar to the one T. Harv Eker has in this book.  It goes like this.  Thoughts create feeling in which, for the most part, we create actions.  Those actions create our results.  Within those lines are the variables of programming we’ve learned over the years.  It is within that equation your money map is made.  Do you feel there is never enough?  Do you feel you will always struggle?  Where were you taught that?  And who’s truth was it?  Interesting how often people project their perceived truths onto others as though it were a fact. 

      When I first learned this, I began to unlearn many false beliefs about money, income, and wealth in my life.  My map began to change.  My outdated GPS needed upgraded to new roads.  Now I am constantly working with it for my desired outcomes.  I can tell you testimony after testimony of people who this has worked for.  Did it come easily?  No.  It had to be worked through.  As I began to improve myself in many arenas in my life, this was one of those arenas.  And like any arena you must compete in it.  Or fight.  Or die. 

      Part 2 will be in a few weeks where we talk about ways to improve your current financial situation?  Will it be easy?  That’s up to us as the individual.  But I hope you stay tuned in.  I understand money can be a very controversial topic loaded with emotions.  There is reason why money is the number one cause of divorce in America today.  Stay tuned and in the time in-between please check out a few books at your leisure.  “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,” by T. Harv Eker.  “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace Wattles.  All great insight to your money map.  — William M. Jeffries

Heroes, Comic-Con, and More..

Posted in attraction, charismatic, confidence, dating, Fear, men, men's health, mentorship, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2012 by full1mpact

                It has now been roughly over a week since I headed two hours South to the amazing, Comic Con.  Yes, it is as amazing as people say.  Yes, it will kick your ass.  And yes, it is as every bit crazy as people say it is.  To me, it is like Christmas, my birthday, and Thanksgiving rolled into one, just without the weight gain of the three.  To me, it is a fan-boy dream come true, and gives me hope for future geek media and entertainment.  Allow me to indulge a bit as to why.  And why this topic is on a men’s development blog.  But first, let me tell you what I saw.

            Day one I saw the mass of one hundred and eighty thousand people gather for one event that most of us would agree is pretty spectacular.  Yes I’m biased, but bear with me.  I trekked across the exhibitor’s hall a dozen or more times probably walking the distance of ten miles in one day.  Unless you’ve been there, you know that is no exaggeration.  I seriously trekked ten flippin’ miles each day I was there.  My legs and I are finally talking again.  I saw celebrities, wrestlers, and writers, oh my.  To me, that first day is like unwrapping your gifts at Christmas.  Or your Birthday gifts if you don’t celebrate Christmas.  Either way…FUN!

            The rest of the days there are like enjoying those gifts you just unwrapped.  You see people of every color, creed, and background all enjoying similar interests as yourself.  You see people who enjoy the art.  You see people who enjoy the games that won’t come out for another year, maybe two.   You see movie trailers before anyone else, you see sneak previews to many things you love in the fantasy world of entertainment.  Generally the sci-fi, fantasy, and super hero movement of entertainment.  And you see people who enjoy the hobby of costuming their favorite heroes and villains.  Some could walk onto the set of a movie…others perhaps should have stayed at home and not burned their image into the retinas of those who witnessed it.  I’m only half kidding on that one.

            I’ve been drawn to sci-fi, fantasy, and comics books since I can remember.  I was barely three when Star Wars first hit theaters and I remember loving it.  I always loved Batman, and anything with knights in it.  Better yet, anything with a good guy versus a bad guy where somehow the good guy making it out okay.  Or barely okay.  At Comic-Con I not only get to see the new modern take on the good versus evil, but also the nostalgia of when I grew up with toys and comics from that era displayed.  To me it allows the kid to come out and play, all the while allowing the adult to sit back and smile;  wanting to be part of the entire scene and making that level of impact.

            Last year we wrote a similar article about Comic Con and the importance of understanding the things you enjoyed as a child and not confusing the boy-man issue with your inner fun child-like side.  This year I’d like to expand that a bit and go on to explore the many sides of a “Man.”  There are strong, physically dominating men, there are wise men, there are philosophical men, there are logical men, political men, and men from every spectrum.  With true men, the only difference is the path.  Deep inside, every true man has strong character, despite whatever path he has chosen in this life.  Much like the heroes we grew up watching on t.v. or the movies.

            Growing up I idolized Batman, Zorro, Han Solo, and G.I. Joe.  Batman because he was/is an unstoppable self-made force.  He had an answer for everything.  A back up plan for a backup plan.  Zorro is a swashbuckling hero who helps his people from an oppressive governing body.  He, like Batman, has two identities and fights for good.  Han Solo, though he acts like he doesn’t care and is as cocky as they get, fights for good.  He is courageous, snarky, and not exactly predictable.  G.I. Joe I loved…well because it’s G.I. Joe and COBRA was just evil, simply put.

            These would be my heroes as I grew up and faced life.  Sometimes not having someone to stick up for you, you had to stick up for yourself and be the hero in your own movie.  Growing up I drew strength from their character, and their choices.  Even their mistakes.  Their stories stayed with me well into present day adulthood and live on now.

            As an artist I drew my heroes, and my villains, in great detail, imagining other untold stories.  I would spend hours drawing them out, perfecting their battle scenes and heroic stances.  But one thing always remained the same, good always won in the end.  To this day I believe this.  Good will find a way to win.  In modern day, evil is everywhere.  Just watch the evening news and be inundated with sensationalized media about every corrupt thing on Earth.  That part is easy.  The hard part is believing that beneath it all, hidden from common view, just like a story, good is finding a way to overcome it.

            In the midst of writing this article the Aurora tragedy of the Batman theater shooting has happened.  Though it is hard to see it now I believe good is finding a way through all of this.  Was the man behind the killings evil?  Without a doubt.  So where is the good in all of this?  How is it working?  Why can’t we see it yet?  Maybe we have to look for it.  When I would read Batman comics he would look for a way to solve a crime.  What clues led him to the Riddler?  How hard would he search?  And why did he never give up?  Good will come of it.  You just have to look for it.  It isn’t always shiny.  It isn’t always obvious.  It never has to be in the limelight and often chooses not to.  But it is there.  Trust me.

            Sometimes we become jaded with humanity.  I know I can at times.  But as I searched for my own journey and began to find my own identity as a man, there is one lesson that stuck with me and gave me hope over many others.  It was at a seminar, and the speaker had us make a list of things we hated in other men, and then make a list of men, either fictional or existing;  then write what we admired about those men.  Part of my childhood came back as I wrote down, Zorro, the Lone Ranger, Batman,…then I began writing down real people in my life.  My pastor.  My grandpa.  A best friend’s father who took me in when I just finished my bout with drug abuse.  He and his wife treated me as their own.  He didn’t have to.  But he did.  I wrote down all of their heroic characteristics.  All of them.  I filled four notebook pages.

            After that the speaker told us to examine each list.  The attributes we hated, and the ones we loved the most.  The he said something remarkable that changed me forever.  He said, “with the ones you hate, that is more than likely something within yourself you hate now, or at one time hated.  That is why you recognize it.”  For the most part.  There are always exceptions.  But then he said, “The heroes and men you admire, those attributes you see deep within yourself that is probably already there, you just have to tap into it.”  For me, it broke a lifelong bondage of never feeling good enough or adequate enough. 

            Though at times I do struggle with childhood programming of inferiority, I champion on, knowing deep inside, there is a self-made hero wanting to do good and impact others in a positive way.  How do I know this?  Because I saw the same hero in men and women who impacted me.  They were strong, persistent, courageous, brave, full of faith, and most importantly full of love.  They trained other side-kicks with the best of their superhuman ability, to do good.  Simply, to do good.

            With that said, to summarize, if you take away anything from this article have it be simply this;  Comic-Con is freaking awesome!  Superheroes are awesome!  It is okay to enjoy and love the things you did as a kid and to reflect back to simpler times.  It is okay to let the kid out to play once in a while!  Good will triumph over evil.  Even it isn’t always obvious, it champions every day.  The good you see in others, the things you see that make a champion, IS INSIDE OF YOU!  You just have to look for it!  Look for the good.  Look for the super hero.  They’re there, inside, waiting to conquer evil and take you to places in your life you have never been to before.  You just have to look.

Keep looking my friend.

P.S.  Enjoy the pics!

By William M. Jeffries